Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling….
“Wow, she’s my age and ahead of the game with only a semester left. She looks so happy with her life.”
“He’s having such a great time in college because he’s doing _______ and ________ and is in love with such a sweet girl. What a life.”
“Oh, a girl my age is already engaged? What am I doing with my life? Where’s the one I’m supposed to marry?!”
It’s so easy to compare my life to my “friends'” lives. I had a plan that I was going to do so well in college, that I was going to be happy, and be successful. I was going to be in love and be married soon. Fast forward a year later, I am debating whether or not college is for me. I’m sure we have all thought about dropping out of college to earn money a different way instead of stressing ourselves out in every state of mind possible. I know It’s not fun seeing the ones you love having such a wonderful time, living such a fantastic life… without you. I haven’t found “the one.” I like to think I have and that they’re being dumb, but I’m creating false hope. Final exams are just a corner away. All of your friends are coupled up. October is OctOVER. There’s so much change that I cannot process it fast enough. I am going through a mid-life crisis as an almost-20-year-old and I am not even in the middle of my life yet.
Sometimes I wish I could go back and do it all over again. I wish I had pursued what my heart desired. I wish I believed in myself and in the potential I have. There are passions we hold dear to our heart, and we keep them locked up inside of us, too afraid to share and terrified to pursue. We regret the days we lived.
Honestly. Truly. Have no regrets.
Without living the days you have lived, you wouldn’t be where you are now. Every person is at a different place in life. I hate college, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Some people like to take life easy, others like to sail through rough waters. If you’re like me, you’re trying to take life easy but you somehow ended up drowning at sea. I was drowning, but I am now dog-paddling myself through. It only takes one stroke at a time. It takes an inhale of breath, and an exhale of life.
Breathe in, breathe out. You’re doing so well.
Don’t be discouraged when you see others living such a spectacular life, engaged or in love, and succeeding in their dream. People only want you to see what’s good. No one likes to share their struggles publicly, which I believe there should be some information kept from the internet. Instead of being discouraged, be encouraged by their passions, their goals, and their happiness. One day you’ll make it to that level. It takes a couple of falls, a bucket of tears, minor bruises, but you’ll get there. Keep moving.
You have days where you can conquer anything that life throws your way. There’s a day where you are emotionally stable and then there is a day where you have no idea why you are crying. There are days where you can’t handle life anymore. There are days where you want to hide away from the world under a blanket fort wrapped up in sheets and surrounded by pillows with sad music playing in the background. There’s a day where you have your life together, then there is a day where you are completely falling apart.
Don’t quit yet. You made it this far. Do something about it.
Live bold. Live brave. Live blessed.
Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14)