Loving Less


When I love someone, I love hard. I invest so much of myself into someone that I forget about myself, who I am, and my purpose in life. When I love someone, I admire them. I take care of them. They are always on my mind. I shower them with so much love that sometimes I’m not receiving the amount of love I’m giving. I become obsessive and completely invested in this person no matter how they treat me. Love is blind.

In Luke 15, Jesus talks about the costs of discipleship. One verse stuck out to me. In verse 26, He states

If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.

We cannot love our Lord if we love people. But aren’t we supposed to love our Lord by loving others and showing them Christ’s love? Jesus isn’t saying to hate, loathe, or shun those you are close to. He is saying to love Him more. Love Him most.

It’s hard to love our Lord when we are too invested in someone. We make that person our savior instead. We place them on the highest pedestal to realize too late that we cannot save them and they cannot save us. We end up in heartbreak and on the search to love someone else instead of seeking Christ.

Why can’t we love God the way we love people sometimes? Is it because He isn’t physically present for us to actually communicate through the five love languages?  We can’t invest in God the way we invest in others because it’s a terrifying thought to forsake and renounce all to follow Jesus. There are costs. We pay a price and pick up a heavy cross to follow Christ.

Our preacher asked the question: What did it cost you to follow Christ?

At the young age of 20, everyone is into drinking and partying. Did I just realize this? Sometimes I forget that it’s a thing. Actually before 20, people were really into the social scene. There are times where I thought about doing things just for people to “like” me. I don’t participate in activities that would tempt me to sin because I know that I would regret it later. The guilt would eat me alive. I think about how people don’t like me because I’m boring. Is there actually something wrong with me? We all have different interests and a lifestyle where I damage my body and my mind does not appeal to me.

There are sacrifices we make when we love someone. We sacrifice our time. We risk heartbreak. We make decisions considering our loved ones to please them and make them happy. We eventually give our whole selves to someone who can’t save us. The difference between God and people is that God can save us. There are sacrifices we make when we choose to love God instead of the world. It can be big sacrifice such as being persecuted for believing in the one and only God. People risk their lives to obey God while most of us have it “good”, living in a country where we have the freedom to worship God. Following Christ can be costly, but it will be worth it in the end.

Love God most in your daily walk, but don’t forget to share His love and Word with others, especially those who are lost, confused, hurt, and broken. They need it the most.


Living Broken


It’s taken me this long to come to a conclusion that living a life pretending to be something I’m not makes me happy.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart- These, O God, You will not despise. (Psalm 51:17)

Whenever I’m sad, I turn to this verse for comfort to affirm that I am okay. Where you are in your walk definitely plays into how you see God because every step provides a new point-of-view. Do you only praise God when He blatantly shows you a blessing? Do you curse God when things don’t go your way or when something bad happens to you? Sometimes we are blind to our own blessings.

Late one night, I was up talking to a friend about the Lord and what He is. As Christians we see Him as merciful, full of grace, forgiving, and loving. Others view Him as cruel and arrogant because He allows bad things to happen.

I could’ve prevented so much heartbreak and hurt if I did things differently. The Lord allows our hearts to break. Why does He want something so emotionally and mentally painful and exhausting to happen to us? Why does He want me to be burdened down with a broken heart and affected by guilt? Is this just another way that proves that God is angry and cruel?

It takes us getting hurt and broken to realize that we cannot do things our way. God is like the friend who says, “I’m not going to say that I was right, but come here. I got you.” It’s a humbling experience. He doesn’t want these things to happen, but there’s no other way for us to learn with these thick skulls.

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

He allows broken hearts so He can draw near to us. I’ve been hurt and broken for so long because He wants me to find Him. I’ve had nights where I literally break down in tears because I don’t understand why my heart feels like it’s been shattered to a million pieces all over again. He’s the only one who can heal me from all of the hurt and brokenness of this world.

God is a gracious God because He allows us free will to do what we want but cautions you before He lets you go. If we view our Lord and Savior as an angry and selfish God because He isn’t verbal or visible when bad things happen, how do we see Him when good things happen? Our view cannot flip flop based on the situation. He wants us to be still and wait sometimes because if there’s a storm brewing and our faith is about to be shaken then our faith can be tossed overboard. If we were still in His presence, our faith would be as still as Jesus sleeping down in the ship in the storm because we have trust and faith in our Lord to be able to pick us back up.

Jesus went through so much heartbreak as well, so He understands what we are going through. He wept when someone died. He had compassion for the sick and the lost. His heart broke when Peter denied Him three times. He suffered and endured the cross for something He wasn’t guilty for. He became flesh to suffer and be tempted just as we are so He can help us. He did it all for us, broken, beated, and bruise, so we can have salvation through Him.

God is always present. Sometimes He wants us to learn by ourselves, to always choose Him when troubles come our way and to always choose Him when we can see our blessings. When you’re having the worst day of your life, just know that it can get better with just one prayer, one verse, and one friend.

For this is God,

Our God forever and ever;

He will be our guide

Even to death.

(Psalm 48:14)

Grateful for those who allow me to break down in front of them. I’m learning everyday from this broken heart of mine.

Wild Week


Meeting up with passionate people is what I live for. I’m a crazy introvert but I love to meet people. People make me nervous, but I still pursue friendships an coffee dates. I had the opportunity to travel to many places this week. I went to an art museum and a lovely coffee shop with the best iced caramel latte I’ve ever tasted.


Later on in the week, I went to NOLA for the Lumineers concert. It was a long drive. I lit the aux cord while my friend drove us. Bless him for driving because if it was me I would’ve been dead. It was a lengthy trip, but definitely worth all of the food and friendship. My concert experiences have been lovely so far. I’ve seen Ben Rector, COIN, and The Lumineers. Panic! At The Disco is the move for April!



We came back home late Saturday afternoon.

After praising the Lord and all His goodness Sunday morning, I headed out to Birmingham to stay the night with my friend. She’s swamped with responsibilities and assignments, but she still found the time to be such a wonderful host and a best friend to me. I also had a coffee date with an old middle school friend and we caught up over lattes at Octane Bar.


So much love for this sweet friend of mine.

I left Monday morning after breakfast for Tuscaloosa to hunt for apartments and meet my roommates. One step towards settling! There was progress but there’s still work that needs to be done. It was a long day of interacting with people. I ended the day with roomie dinner and watching my friend perform in the Alabama Symphonic Band. Honestly, I’m honored to attend such a talented and beautiful school.

Praise the Lord for safety and blessings.

This weekend consisted of lots of energy, food, and coffee.


Lord, Where Are You?


Working-4.jpg“What’s the Lord doing in your life right now?” I asked a new friend as we sat in the corner of a Starbucks sippin’ on our sweet chai lattes. She looked up at me, scrunching her eyebrows. 

“I’m not sure. I haven’t heard from Him in a while…” she replied.

“Have you asked Him for anything?” I was confused.

“No not really.”

The Lord is always working. I know He is, but why is she saying that He isn’t really doing anything?

“So you must be content with where you are. That’s good!”

When I was sitting there asking my friend about the Lord and His hand in her life, I was thinking of my own life. When she shrugged her shoulders and scrunched her eyebrows, thinking of any way the Lord has spoken to her, I was thinking of ways He’s been speaking to me. She knows that He is present, but her life is at a stand-still. He is working on revealing the wonderful things ahead in her life and she’s just waiting patiently for His word. She knows He has a plan prepared for her. She isn’t stressed about the future but is calm and content in the present moment.

Wow. I wish I had her attitude. I’m the kind of person who needs to know what is happening all the time. I need answers at the exact moment: second, minute, hour, day, date, month, and year. I need all of the details so I can prepare myself for what is ahead.

Just like my friend, I have NO idea what the Lord is doing right now. When you think about it, God is already doing so much for us.

THROWBACK: God sent His only Son to die for our sins. Jesus died for the things He wasn’t responsible for. His death brought us so much love, grace, and mercy from our Lord. It brought us Salvation and hope. He tore down the walls of sin that separated us from God and allowed us to have a hope to be with Him once again. (Ephesians 4:14-18; Colossians 1:21-22)  We have forgiveness through Jesus’ blood (Colossians 1:14, 2:13)

“When you cannot hear God, you will find that He has trusted you in the most intimate way possible with absolute silence, not a silence of despair, but one of pleasure, because He saw that you could withstand an even bigger revelation.” –Oswald Chambers
In times of despair (which seems like a lot for me right now), I question how God’s silence can be a sign of His trust and His love. He trusts that you can withstand anything that comes your way because you trust in Him. You are steadfast and confident in Christ.

In John 11, Jesus knew that Lazarus was sick for two days yet He waited to go see Him. Jesus said that Lazarus’ sickness was to glorify God. Jesus didn’t show up until Lazarus was already dead and in the tomb (John 11:4).  Jesus told his disciples that Lazarus was dead and that He was glad that He wasn’t there. JESUS SAY WHAT?!

Jesus said that Lazarus will live. Martha knew that there was a purpose behind this and knew that Lazarus would eventually be resurrected at the last day.

I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. (John 11:25)

When Jesus met up with Mary and Martha, Mary blamed Jesus for Lazarus’ death. If Jesus was there, Lazarus wouldn’t have died (John 11:32). At this moment, Jesus had compassion and wept with them.

The Jews said, “See how He loved him!” and “Could not this Man, who opened the eyes of the blind, also have kept this man from dying!” (John 11:36-37) In the end, Jesus brought Lazarus back to life and many believed in Him.

I’m sure Jesus was like, “SMH why can’t you guys just believe in Me.” He made them wait for this miracle to give them time to believe in Him. Sometimes we are blind to the marvelous works of Jesus. Like little children, we don’t understand His teachings. This is an example of how God’s silence is good. It’s a time for us to believe that He will fulfill His purpose and plan. It’s an opportunity for us to see His marvelous works. The Lord provides when we ask, not always immediately but eventually.

In the words of our sweet Jesus,

“Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. And I know that You always hear Me, but because of the people who are standing by I said this, that they may believe that You sent Me.”

C e l e b r a t e


You walk into the store and see that red and pink literally vomited itself  everywhere. You quickly want to leave and bury yourself in tons of blankets with a gallon of Bluebell ice cream in your arms while watching sappy chick flicks, longing for the main character’s life. Girl, get up!

I loved Valentine’s Day in elementary school. It was simple. We had a party where all the kids would bring a snack to share, usually sugary sweets, and Valentine cards for every single person. No matter who it was, they still received a card. Of course I made one card extra special for my crush of the school year. And I also made sure the person I didn’t like at the time receive the ugliest sticker (oops). Growing up, I still gave out Valentine’s Day cards to my close friends. They were homemade and extra special for the people I loved. My sophomore year of high school, I received at least over a dozen Valentine’s Day grams from a group of my friends. Oh, how I felt so loved. Later on, I had a real Valentine who treated me to a nice date.


Now, what’s a valentine? Who is a valentine, and where do you find one for the only day that’s dedicated to this ridiculous holiday? Married couples tell me that Valentine’s Day will just be another day when you’re married. I know for a fact that when I get married that I will celebrate this cheesy day just because I have a forever Valentine. As of right now, I’m sure all of you know that ya girl is single as a pringle and don’t want to mingle. I tend to push potential boyfriends away when they try to get close to me because I don’t want them to really know how I am as a person… which is insane. I’m actually planning on staying home all day and staying away from scrolling on social media so I don’t have to see couples everywhere. But instead of being discouraged, I should


Celebrate life. There’s so much to honor about yourself such as the oxygen you are able to breathe in everyday or all of the people you made laugh without even trying. Life is full of so much beauty, so don’t miss out on it. Celebrate the love you have with your boyfriend because it’s supposed to be something special. Don’t make him have to buy you all of the food and flowers. Give your boy a lil lovin’ with a sweet hand written letter and a cookie baked with love. He will indeed melt. Heck, celebrate love even if you’re single. I love love, but it seems as if love doesn’t love be back. Take this day to daydream about your husband and what he will be like. Say a prayer for him. Pray that he is doing well. I sometimes ask God to lead me to Him if it’s His will. Unfortunately, He is still waiting for the right time to reveal the love of my life. Celebrate your sweet friends who are always there for you when you need them. They are as good of a friend to you as you are to them. Don’t let them go. Appreciate them and love on them a little more today.141712

Celebrate yourself. You have so much to celebrate. Don’t spend the day cooped up in bed and throw yourself a pity party. Be more inviting to the things you hate about yourself. Love yourself so you can authentically love others.

I’m quiet but can be obnoxiously loud depending on what day you catch me on. My anger can be easily aroused by the littlest thing. My humor is dry and stupid, and my laugh is just as awful as my humor. I can’t form sentences correctly when I speak. My smile is crooked. My lips are always chapped. Sometimes one eye wanders if I look a certain way. I like dead flowers. I am so self-conscious of all of these things. And it’s okay. Don’t let your insecurities consume you. If you look at these quirks in a different light, they make you who you are. You are special. You are one-of-a-kind.


Honor yourself by loving the your thick thighs because they are strong. Without them, you wouldn’t be able to move or have the power to kick people. Praise the Lord for your little tummy. Food isn’t the enemy here. Eat, eat, eat, but also take the time to treat yourself to a workout. Cardio may not seem like a treat, but honey, it’s definitely worth the sweet results. Work out to eat good. It’s a balance. Be a little dramatic with your makeup. Extend that eyeliner, smoke your eyes, bold your lips. Give your eyeballs a break!!!! Nothing is wrong with looking cute, sophisticated, and brilliant with glasses. Buy yourself flowers because you love the way they brighten up the room. Buy those shoes you’ve been wanting for so long because you know they would go with almost every outfit. It’s an essential.


Love yourself the way you love others. You take care of others by making sure they are okay and making sure they are eating well. You take care of everyone but yourself. You deserve to do the same for yourself. We love so much that we want to be loved in return, but how can we do that if we can’t even love ourselves? Celebrate who you are and why you are.

From the inside and out, you are intricate, detailed, and complex. You are a masterpiece, a work of art.  (Ephesians 2:10; Psalm 139:13-14)
You are strong because of Christ. (Philippians 4:13)
You were bought at a price. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20; 1 Peter 1:18-19)
Take time to know the scriptures and you will discover who you are.



xoxo, Happy Valentine’s Day!


Thanks to all of my sweet friends for looking so beautiful for this celebration shoot.

You Don’t Need Anyone


C: He just broke up with you. You’re on your way home and full of all these emotions. What were you feeling at that exact moment?

M: At that moment, I was sad. I thought I was never going to be okay. I thought I was never going to be in love ever again or ever get married. I felt doomed.

C: Now, let’s stop right there! You’re definitely not doomed! You felt all of those things at that moment.  Let’s focus on one thing. You said you were not okay. What are some things you would tell this broken hearted girl to help her feel better? What are some good qualities about her?

M: I would tell myself, “You are okay. You will be okay.” I was independent. I invested all of myself in him and loved him with my whole heart.

C: Right, you are capable of taking care of others and loving others well. That’s a good quality to have. What else would you tell her?

M: I would tell her, “You were a wonderful girlfriend to him, and he doesn’t deserve you. You don’t need a man.”

I think we do need people. We can be too independent sometimes. We can take care of other people well and love people with our whole being, but we often neglect ourselves. Sometimes we seek our validation and worth in other people because we want someone to love us as much as we love them. There’s nothing wrong with wanting someone because we were created to crave companionship with someone forever..

Think of a time where you thought you would never be able to recover from. You didn’t think that you will ever be okay again. In those dark times, your perspective was clouded with negativity and emotions and didn’t even bother to see the light that was there the whole time. All you could focus on was the micro, that exact moment. You couldn’t see the big picture of why things were the way they were. It’s difficult to have a macro perspective when life throws curveballs at you. It takes lots of time for you to heal. During the healing process, the Lord bestows so many magnificent revelations. What did the Lord teach you in the moments of darkness? To seek Him? To trust in His will?

The Lord uses the toughest of times to teach us the greatest of lessons.

At the exact moment of trouble, we over dramatize and over exaggerate things. We think with our feelings instead of thinking of the facts.

Fact: You are good enough.

Fact: You will be okay.

Fact: Things will work out.

There will be more heartbreak from this world in the future. Keep in mind that no matter how much the darkness consumes you, the Lord is always there. He is always fighting for you. He is always cheering you on. He is always longing for you. He is always waiting for you with open arms, ready to love when all you did was neglect Him.



As Minimal as Possible


I have a closet full of clothes, but I only wear one shirt and the same skirt. I rarely wear pants unless I’m tired of not being able to sit however I want. The rest of my wardrobe is taking up space. I have drawers full of t-shirts. A few are leftover from high school because I can’t seem to let go. There are boxes full of sentimental, hand written cards that people have given me for special occasions. They date back to middle school. Most of my room is full of decorations.

I recently watched a documentary on Minimalism, a movement to live with less.


Minimalists don’t focus on having less, less, less; rather, we focus on making room for more: more time, more passion, more experiences, more growth, more contribution, more contentment. More freedom. Clearing the clutter from life’s path helps us make that room. –The Minimalists

It’s powerful. As soon as I finished watching this eye-opening documentary, I immediately began to purge all of the things I didn’t need. I keep purchasing all of these things that only take up space and make my bank account cry (I also cry because I’m always broke.) I have all of these wonderful things such as nice clothes, a beautiful camera, this macbook I’m typing on, and a truck that eats gas but also gets me where I need to be. I should be happy right? Wrong. Something’s missing. I should be content with what I have, yet I keep longing for more unnecessary things.

It’s powerful. As soon as I finished watching this eye-opening documentary, I immediately began to purge all of the things I didn’t need. I’m highly considering living this lifestyle. Some of my friends think I’m crazy for trying all these different things. I was vegetarian for two months for health reasons, but I missed Chick-Fil-A too much. Plus I was a terrible vegetarian and ate only french fries. I was a health nut for years and didn’t eat ANYTHING unless it was healthy, which annoyed most of my friends. I tried being gluten-free. I went organic for a while but also went broke. I have reasonable explanations for jumping these “bandwagons.” After experimenting, I finally realized that if I’m going to be living on this earth, I might as well make the most of it by taking care of myself. I want to live a quality life without having all these goods and materials making me temporarily happy.

Even with all of these things, I feel empty, hopeless, and tired.

I’m choosing to live in simplicity. Now this does not mean I will not buy anything I want nor  will throw away everything I own. I will still buy the things I want but only out of necessity and utility. So far I am only buying all the food and all the coffee, which still doesn’t help. (LOL) I don’t want to be rich in things that pertain to the world. I want to be rich in the intangible things. Love. Experiences. Friendships.

Most of the anxiety and worry that I have is unnecessary. I am a worry wart. There’s a certain amount of worry we need to have in order to respond to situations. The rest of the worry is unnecessary. It only makes us more stressed. This is one way to be as minimal as possible. Focus on what you’re worrying about, target it, and ask yourself, “Is this useful?” Will it matter the next day? In a week? A month?

I asked my friend if she thought I was crazy. She told me no. She told me that I needed stability and to focus on a goal. There’s no such thing as balance or stability, but if I can create a sense of it and believe that I am, then I will do just that. Face it. All that we own will fade away. I don’t want to live on this earth broke and unhappy. I want to be rich in all things good to be able to receive the incorruptible crown that is ahead.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you –I Peter 1:3-4

Definition of an Artist


I’ve had this sweet baby for nearly 3 years. It’s amazing how many photos I’ve taken with this entry-level DSLR. I first used it in high school and decided to purchase one after graduation. Funny how I didn’t need it my first two years of college. Now I’m using it all the time. The most beautiful photos I have taken were captured with this little entry-level Nikon DSLR and it’s simple starter lens. I wish I could have all the lenses and all the cameras, but this ‘lil thing will do just fine at the moment.

You don’t always have to go somewhere extravagant to create.

You don’t have to have the best equipment in order to make a masterpiece.

I believe that you can be a great photographer by using what is right in front of you. Sometimes I feel like I have to go out of town in order to take beautiful portraits or photographs. The thought of leaving my hometown of 20 years is exciting because I can go wherever I want to go, or wherever my truck allows me to go. A true artist knows how to make art wherever they are. They don’t have to go an hour upstate to capture the lighting. They don’t need a ticket to Italy in order to photograph the beautiful architecture. If you can photograph with what you have and where you are, then you can create a great photograph. I use a makeshift studio in my room. If you’ve seen me photograph around my house you would think I’m being extra and unnecessary. I climb on tables and rearrange furniture in order to take a good photo.  Ask other photographers. I’m sure they have some crazy stories of how they got a great shot. I remember I was second shooting for a wedding and the photographer and I were both short. She climbed onto the arm rests of the chair while I supported her so she could hang the dress on the curtain rod. It was a workout.

Working with what you have is not a limitation. It’s a door for opportunities and creativity. It shows that you can create a work of art with anything and everything. As an artist, it stimulates creativity. Create with whatever you have. It’s not a limitation. Let us be extra with the little we have.

A List of People & Things to Fall in Love With This Year


Four little letters form one of the most complicated, over-our-heads, topic. Love is a concept we cannot comprehend, yet we try our best to define it through our actions and we try to form elaborate sentences to describe such a significant and beautiful word. Falling in love is a whole ‘nother abstraction we believe to have experienced at least once in our lives. Falling in love does not have to be with someone who makes you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. It doesn’t have to be someone who holds your hand or kisses you on the forehead when you’re sad.


1. Fall in love with the people who make your coffee. Whether it be your husband, wife, parents, or a lovely barista at the coffee shop, love them. They woke up thinking of you and how much you need coffee to start your day. I’m sure the barista just woke up thinking they needed to make money today, whoever brews your coffee will still call you a babe and wish you a wonderful day.


2. Fall in love with the strangers around you. The energy they radiate captivates you, and you can’t help but feed off of their positivity, productiveness, and passion. You see yourself in every person you walk by. You see your fashion sense in the girl strutting down the street with her high-waisted skinny jeans, striped tee, and cat-eyed sunglasses. You see yourself in the stranger who held the door open for you, kind and considerate. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the person you love the most and spend the most time with. You somehow end up being the same person, having the same heart and desires.

3. Fall in love with your friends because there’s no one else who can have you rolling on the floor laughing for 10 minutes and then backing you up in an argument, threatening to hurt the person who wronged you. If you aren’t in love with your friends, then I suggest you to find some new ones.love-2

4. Fall in love with passionate people whose eyes light up at the mention of the one thing that makes their heart flutter. It could be music, art, space, or even the idea of how close we are to figuring out time traveling. It could also be the Lord and His grace, goodness, and the many gifts He bestows on us because of His love. Watching someone talk about the Lord in their life is the most beautiful thing to experience. It could be something you have absolutely never heard of or cared about before, but you can’t help but stare at them with kind eyes. You question them further to know more and to hear them talking your ear off about something they love so much. It makes you fall in love with them and their passions. You can’t help but admire.


5. Fall in love with flowers because they partake in the beauty of this earth. Flowers are always in bloom no matter what season. Dried up, dead flowers are as beautiful as the vibrant ones blooming in a garden. Appreciate and admire their beauty because they will soon wither away and come back next season.

6. Fall in love with a blank slate. Clean. Spotless. Pure. There’s so much you can put on a blank canvas or a blank wall, but the simplicity of it is so beautiful that you don’t want to mess it up. Fall in love with the minimal and simple things that remind you that the simple life is as beautiful as the wild life that is often glorified.


7. Fall in love with every season of your life because with every season there is growth in every state of being. With every season there is a plethora of lessons learned from various people, events, and opportunities. Every season will bring wisdom from the experience and hopefully patience, peace, and joy will bloom from each term.

8. Fall in love with an empty room. It’s silent, but your mind is the loudest. It’s just you and your conscience. It’s a time to reflect and time to revive from a busy world.


9. Fall in love with change. It’s scary and terrifying, but it can also be eye opening and riveting. Change brings many opportunities and experiences we need to be able to be wiser and stronger in every state of mind.

10. Fall in love with yourself. Though you can be confusing, confounding, and cryptic, there’s no one else like you. There may be someone with the same eye color, sense of humor, or same  dress, there is no on exactly like you. Similar to our fingerprints, we are as unique as a snowflake. You discover so many things about yourself when you fall in love with who you are, where you are, and why you are.


I hope you have the chance to check these off your list of things you should fall in love with. The little things in life can bring so much love. Let yourself be so in love with these things that nothing else matters.

The Journey of My Life


I love the journey of my life because of how terrifying uncertainty is, but I also love how riveting the fear of the unknown is.

There’s an adrenaline rush when you don’t know what happens next. Anxiety also strings itself along with this fight-or-flight feeling. You want to know what happens to plan the rest of your life. Once you know one thing, you need to know another. You simply cannot be satisfied with knowledge. You have to learn. You need to know more. You’re always going to be waiting for what happens next. I had a plan for this semester and so far, it’s not going so well. It’s only January. I’ve been waiting for opportunities. One has already made it’s appearance, so I’m waiting to officially hear back from them. I’ve been waiting 3 long months for the next opportunity so I can officially decide on what to do. I need to know what’s going on and what’s going to happen next. If I don’t, I am a complete and utter mess of anxiety and doubt. We either fight to know more by taking control of everything in your life or flee by leaving it in the future and staying in the present. By human nature, we do things that we believe are best for us. This has to happen in order for this to happen. If these little events don’t happen then the plans for the future are completely ruined.

Slow it down.

Being too caught up with yourself, your thoughts, your dreams means you won’t have time to be completely present in the moment. You are too caught up with the later instead of the now. Of course it’s going to make you miserable. There are some things that are out of your control, such as waiting for an acceptance letter or loving someone who doesn’t love you back. You can’t control that your friend doesn’t think she’s beautiful. Only she can. You can’t control your parents fighting. That’s between them. Usually if you try to take matters into your own hands, things turn out the complete opposite of what you wanted it to be. You’ve done everything you can. If you’re living in the future, then you’re missing out on what is right in front of you.

Cheesy quote: Life is about the journey not the destination.

Everything you do effects your future. Duh. Things will work out. If they don’t, then of course the Lord has something better prepared for you. The Lord always provides. Don’t doubt him. Doubting Him is not trusting in His love, power, and plan. He is steadfast no matter what happens to us in the future.

Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ. (II Thessalonians 3:5)

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. (James 1:17)